Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

Borrowed from Nathaniel Brayden...this was WAY to good not to post! :-)

The answer can be found by answering the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock .40 caliber, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?

Republican's Answer:
BANG!
Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
Southerner's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! Click "Shucks! I'm out!"
Daughter: "Nice pattern Daddy! Were those the Silver Tips, black talons, or them new Hollow Points?"
Son: "Can I shoot the next one Daddy?"
Wife: "You ain't takin' THAT to no Taxidermist!"

If You Don't Like Sarcasm...Don't Read This!

Disclaimer: I'm not quite finished with this article yet. One of these days I'm going to work on it just a bit more...I'd love to hear your opinion on it also! :)

My rant on "safety" rules is titled....drumroll please...


My Parents Hate Me
Well, I found out something amazing today! You see, I didn’t know it, but my parents are insane! It’s so funny I never noticed it before, but all that time Daddy was in medical school and Mum was teaching, they had lost their minds!
You see, I’ve been reading this real informative book on child safety, and it really looks like we were abused. All that cool stuff we did, it was so un-American. I wonder if they are Communists?
It all started when me and Dad went rock climbing. Now, in West Virginia, when you go rock climbing, you better be careful, or you could end up in the morgue. It sounds really fun, but I can’t remember much, seeing I was three. And, to prepare me, he actually had the audacity to teach me strict obedience! No wonder I’ve turned out so weird!!
But, they were always like that. They actually let me go hiking all by myself, in the pasture where the big bull hangs around, out in old barns, ( Okay, Mum didn’t encourage that,) and hanging out around creeks. I go off for hours with no adult supervision or even planned activities! What are they thinking, they even let me go without a cell phone!
Yes, they even let me have a gun and a bayonet, presumably… they wanted me to be a serial killer, since that is the only reason this little book said anybody would want to have guns. Well, I mean John Wayne maybe, but what would I want one for? The temptation to shoot people has never been that strong, but you never know. One of these days I’ll just snap and shoot everybody in sight! Not that there is anybody in sight..
Yeah, they are abusers alright. They let me get up at five o’clock every morning and go milk my cow! Don’t they know it’s violating rule # 67 to let your child work alone in the barn? With a cow? Don’t we all know how cows turn on people and kill them? It’s better to keep a pet gorilla then a cow! I’d say they think we should work. What a ridiculous idea of theirs!
Well, if you haven’t fainted yet, there’s more. One day, when I was 15, those parents of mine left the house at night, they said to buy my sister a bicycle, and we were all by ourselves for almost two hours! Since I read this little booklet, now I know that if we had only looked out the window, we would have seen rapists and burglars and who knows what all….we were just to ignorant. Wow, if only I had known!
Yeah, I know a lot more now. I didn’t know all the danger I was in, and I’ll have to let them know. Let me see….whom shall I contact first? Child Protective Services or the Sheriff?
It’s not about being safe, it’s about looking safe.